Last night, as I have many nights in the last couple of weeks, I woke early, and started to worry about money and income, as I have been lately. Mind you, I TRY not to… I know it’s not spiritual, that I need to have faith and also move my feet. But at 4 a.m. it’s easy to forget those guidelines.
So I had this little dream. “Going through the bank, on the deposit ticket (we just did a balance check or something), is the stamp in bright ink, ‘You do this at great risk!’ …. like, checking our balance indicates that we know how much is there, and that incriminates us somehow. I am confused…. why are we at risk for checking our balance?”
Whatthe?! What is that about? In the darkness I lay there pondering the meaning, and heard my Guidance say clearly and powerfully, “You are terrorizing yourself about money…. Stop. Now.”[custom_frame_left] 
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Terrorizing myself? Well, yes. I could see that all these “If you don’t… then…” voices were alive and flourishing in my mind. Despite occasional meditation and spiritual readings. And that those same voices were whipping up a pretty good lather of fear in me.
But… but… I need that! Don’t I? What else would get me to do what I need to do, for crying out loud?!
Wooaaah! Really? Do I believe that? Do I actually function like that? Do I terrorize myself with what if’s and maybe’s and you better’s and if you don’ts… like whipping a horse to make it gallop?
So I stopped to listen to those voices. I could see patterns, I could feel the meanness in the criticism. The disrespect to my self. The disregard of my spirit, my soul.
Is it possible that I might get myself to do something new, something challenging, something needed… without terrorizing myself into action?
As I held all these voices and thoughts gently in my mind, other questions unfolded: is “terrorizing” sometimes necessary to break through our denial (oh, it’s not too bad… I’m dealing with it)? Is there some other way to support myself in taking bold, never-before-done action? Does this dynamic go on in other people too? Does it go on in our culture, between people, between groups? and then… …. What if the construct of hell was created to terrorize ourselves and others into being good!?
So I have been preparing for a Warrior Energy Radical Harmony evening, coming soon. It’s on the calendar. This is the first of a series of musical/song events I’m offering, and I’ve had clear Guidance for several weeks that this is where I start. I’ve been considering, what is the warrior energy? Some people equate it with soldiers and killing others, and don’t want to have anything to do with it. But I know it’s more than that. In fact, killing others is probably the dysfunctional side of our warrior, what happens when we don’t learn to embrace and use our warrior appropriately.
Our warrior energy is the blazing light of clear seeing, the power of saying NO to what is no longer needed or respectful in our lives, the power of saying YES to letting go of comfort and security in order to grow. The warrior energy is what is called for when we make a challenging change in our lives: to quit a job that is too small for us; to take charge of our health, losing weight and exercising; to go back to school; to leave a relationship that is not healthy; to deepen our spiritual practice despite distractions. Our warrior energy blazes the trail, clears the path, stays the course, takes us where we need to go. Our warrior energy is the energy of empowerment.
Our warrior energy is the antidote to terrorizing ourselves about any topic. It can cut through fear with a crystal clear edge, and take you with it.
Fairy tales are sometimes ridiculed as sexist, romantic, outdated. But if you look at each character as part of yourself, part of the archetypes within you, fairy tales become powerful stories filled with guidance. Sleeping Beauty fell asleep, under the spell of a witch. Hmmm… any part of my life where I’ve ever “fallen asleep?” Or fallen under the spell of a variety of dysfunctions? After a very long time asleep, at long last, the “prince,” – the warrior energy – cuts through the brambles, the thickets, the veritable jungle, to reach the sleeping beauty and awaken her/it.
That warrior energy is within each one of us, however distant or long ignored it may be. We can call upon it to come in, to cut through the confusion, the jungle, the brambles, the distractions that have grown up around us.
The warrior energy has the power to awaken us. The warrior energy has the power to free us.
Reclaiming our warrior energy is not about killing, not about terrorizing ourselves or others. It is about empowering ourselves, and in the process, those we love and those who will be inspired by our example.
The world is waiting for our Warrior Energy.