Love or fear | Linda Chubbuck

January 22, 2020 Empowerment, Love or Fear 1 Comment

Sent by God

In 1999 I met a brilliant man. I had led a “sheltered” life the decades prior to that year. First married, then divorced, I was raising my kids in my country home in rural Kansas. Sure I had a college education and I read. But truly, the new people entering my life were rare – maybe one every year or so.

Then J appeared. He was mesmerizing, creative, a great storyteller. I was firmly set on a spiritual path, and he told me he came to me because he was God’s answer to my prayers.

I sort of believed him. Two weeks after we met, he proposed. I said yes. We set the date for two months later. J was charismatic – even my son said he was a miracle in our lives.

Two days before the wedding he blew up at me for my relationship with that same son. I was enmeshed, he said. He threatened to leave, and walked out for a day.

I swallowed hard, apologized, and we married two days later.

That scenario repeated itself dozens of times over the next year. I scrambled to “clean up” my relationships so I could be close to J. I cut out one person after another based on his assessment (judgment). The sudden blowups continued as he judged nearly all of my relationships as co-dependent, enmeshed, entangled. I needed to clean them all up.

J reminded me regularly that he was – literally – God’s answer to my prayers: for a closer walk with God, for improved relationships, for a partner, for creativity.

Yes, he was God’s answer to my prayers. God sent him to me.

As the months went by with J, I became isolated, stressed, and my body began to suffer with mysterious aches and weaknesses. I didn’t know what was happening and I had no one – except J – to talk to about it. Despite his great story-telling, our huge dreams, and our exciting travels, I was increasingly depressed. He was moving out about once every 3 weeks, then back in again a few days later. We changed homes 3 times in one year. All of my belongings (and my children’s keepsakes) were in storage and unavailable to me – jumbled.

My mind was a maze of confusion and fear. My body felt like hell. My life felt like hell. Inside, I was still praying. God, what is going on? God, what do you want me to do? Despite all J’s pronouncements and certainty, this didn’t feel like Love to me.

I have always believed in love. Love as a force. Even when I didn’t believe in God, I believed in Love and in Truth.

I was so confused.

One day, my prayers were answered – again – when a poster in a mall asked the question, “Does anything about your relationship scare you?”

Hell yes. Almost everything.

The poster was an invitation to call the Domestic Violence help line.

I did so. I left with my suitcase the next morning.

So I have a question for you.

Is there anyone you believe was sent by God but what they do doesn’t feel like love? It doesn’t feel like truth? It doesn’t feel like integrity?

I don’t care whether it’s a close up and personal relationship or whether it’s the president of the United States. I don’t care whether it’s a Senator, or a friend.

If you are passionate that this person was sent by God, but what they do doesn’t feel like Love – or Honor – or Truth – or Integrity, think on this.

What if God sent this person to you – or to us – to reveal the ugliness of hatred? To reveal the ugliness of judging others? To reveal the ugliness of racism, and corruption?

I used my free will to walk away from the Man who was Sent by God. I lost much of what I valued in my life. I cried for months. I made apologies and amends to those I had judged and alienated. I prayed and spent time in the ashes of humiliation.

Slowly I mended my life. I pondered the lessons of what judgment does to relationships, what self-righteousness does to Love.

If you believe Donald Trump and company were sent by God, I invite you to answer this question – does anything he does feel like Love?

What would Love do? What would Jesus do?

If you believe Donald Trump was sent by God, I challenge you to consider what God might have wanted you to learn from this?

I challenge you to awaken your own conscience. It might just be a Revelation.

July 3, 2018 Love or Fear Post a Comment

An Open Letter to All Americans

AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL AMERICANS July 1, 2018 published on my FB page

Natural born, naturalized, undocumented or in between

If you live in, love, or call yourself an American I’m presuming that you have some degree of love for this country. I’m also presuming that
you can see that we are in one of the worst pickles we – as a nation – have ever been in. It’s pretty up close and personal this time.

I am passionate about America: the founding principles, the lofty ideals, the opportunities we share and the general goodness of the American people (all of them). The last few years however we have been at each other’s throats and as anyone can see, that’s pretty dang destructive to our nation as a whole. And it could get worse, as we all know.

So here’s my letter to all of us, group by group, faction by faction, tribe by tribe. I write this in deep abiding hope that what holds us together – calling ourselves Americans – is more powerful than what is tearing us apart. Each of us is different and unique. But we have this thing – this overarching love and devotion – to this beautiful imperfect country.

Here goes:

To all you neo-Nazis and White Nationalists: you might be surprised, but I actually see your point. I don’t agree, but I see it. America was founded by white, male slaveowners (some of our founders anyway). So when you want to go back to that time and way of being, there’s some accuracy in your rationalization. BUT… the ideals those same white male slaveowners wrote contradicted their exclusive way of living. Decades later, it became clear that those ideals needed to be honored in full. Did you know that artists and writers and visionaries (like the Founding Fathers – FF for short) often write things beyond where they are able to live at that time? You can say they were “full of shit,” or didn’t really mean what they wrote. But I believe they did really mean it, and eventually our people moved closer to their amazing vision – that All Men (and Women) are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights. I also get it that you may be afraid of becoming a minority in America. Yes, that could happen. And there’s no way you can stave that off. Instead, I recommend not accruing anymore bad karma by brutalizing people of color. Instead, try being an ex-racist (yes, it has been done before). You might be surprised at how your life takes on a new and gentler “color,” and you make friends you never thought you’d make.

To all you evangelicals: I know you believe Jesus has saved you. I was “saved” once as well. Thanks to our Founding Fathers you have freedom to worship the way you want to without interference. But also thanks to the FF so do lots of other people. If you really study and pray about what Jesus taught I’m pretty sure you won’t find anything about shunning LGBTQ people, about abortion, about praying in schools (remember you are always free to pray in schools, the teacher just can’t lead everyone to pray), about not baking cakes, about banning Muslims… well you get the idea. MAGA is nothing that Jesus taught. Rather he stated – so clearly it has come down through the ages to us – the Greatest Commandment is Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. If Jesus has really saved you, demonstrate it by measuring everything against Jesus’ greatest commandments.

To all you liberals: I know you believe (I’ve been there too) that you are completely right and the Right is completely wrong. And any sarcastic and biting way you can make that point is completely justified. But… in any relationship, what you put into it comes back to you. The scorn and self-righteousness of the Left is part of what spawned the hatefulness of the Right. Yep. It is. No one likes to be scorned and made fun of. Also the conservatives-before-Trump actually have some reasonable points. In the old days, Right and Left people of Congress actually talked to each other with some measure of respect and worked out solutions. I recommend crossing those ideological lines and having respectful conversations about issues that matter. I recommend withdrawing your attention from the scorn and polarization and instead put your attention on building. Reconstructing our national dialogue.

To all you Trumpers: If you still love Trump you have had to overlook more things than I can enumerate here. Still, it’s true that he has awakened a lethargic voting population, and given voice to the frustration and hatred of many who have felt victimized and unheard. But if you like to cry “fake news” over anything that doesn’t please you, I implore you – if you love America – to do your research. Yes, evil-doers have created fake news, many on the Right, sadly, and some on the Left. Still, to cry “fake news” doesn’t make it fake. It makes it confusing. Do you honestly believe America can survive this intense polarization, corruption and hatefulness by finger-pointing and crying fake news? I don’t. Do your research. Think the immigrant children separation stories are fake? Gather a group of journalists and photographers from your church or community and go find out. “Truth exonerates, and truth convicts.” (Oprah Winfrey). The actual truth is untouched by the cries of fake news. It will endure. Whether our country will or not remains to be seen.

To the LGBTQ community: Twenty years ago I didn’t know several of the words that LGBTQ stands for. Now I do. You are so brave and our world is so much richer because of your courage and creativity. My advice for you? Hang in there. There’s a long ways to go but you have become visible, and honored, and free-er in the last 10 years than most of us would have ever imagined. Honor yourself and your creative gifts and keep on keeping on.

To the immigrants from all nations: Perhaps your family is light-skinned or has been here so long you are in no danger. Perhaps you are more recent, or you wear a hijab, or a turban and you experience the hostility that has been awakened lately. Perhaps you speak another language or have a strong accent. I wish I could make things all better and I can’t. But I can speak and live a truth: with the exception of Native American descendants, we are all immigrants and the children of immigrants, just some of us arrived earlier and some later. Half of my genetics comes from ancestors who arrived in the early 1600’s from England. The other half comes from German immigrants 300 years later. The German side of the family experienced hatefulness from neighbors during WWI. And probably again during WWII. America is above all a nation of immigrants, including colonialists and land-grabbers who took over the pristine land from the native peoples and claimed it as their own. I cannot stop the hatefulness, but I can tell you the truth. Those who are hateful to you? They are children of immigrants. Don’t let them fool you. Stand tall in your community. As my Kuwaiti friend says, “assimilate and learn American ways. But don’t give up your faith and your community.” Claim your place as best you can and hope that America as a nation rises above this bitter polarization.

To the Native people of America: You and I both know there is no going back, and no un-doing of the wrongs done to you. As I watch the immigrant children suffer from separation from their parents I am reminded of the suffering your people experienced when your children were taken and trained in the ways of the whites. For me, I am so sorry. I cannot undo history but I can acknowledge it and ask forgiveness. You are the first People, the first Americans (though I know that was never your word for this land). My advice for you? Claim your heritage. Study your heritage and renew it. Study how your people interacted with settlers and the US government. Do your best to resist bitterness and instead stand in truth. You deserve acknowledgement, honor, and a good place in this country. I honor you for your courage in spite of everything at Standing Rock, and through the decades.

To all People of Color: I am powerless to stop the brutality aimed randomly at people of color. But I am here to say I KNOW you matter and I KNOW you don’t deserve that treatment. I am so sorry for all the pain and injustice you have experienced. I also acknowledge the generational damage done to all people of color through slavery and the aftermath of discrimination and Jim Crow laws. I don’t have the wisdom to give advice to you but my only thoughts are to focus on the connections with people of all colors, people who care about equality and justice, and as I said last paragraph, do your best to resist bitterness, and stand in truth. There are so many wise and inspiring people of color contributing to a future different from the past.

To all law enforcement of all branches: I see your contributions and I am so grateful. Virtually all of my interactions with law enforcement have been positive and I have an instinctively positive response when I see a patrolman (unless I’ve been speeding of course). I invite you to lobby your departments to train in de-escalation and community involvement so that all members of your community can feel as safe and trusting as I do. I’m guessing you would rather your city or town be famous for an innovative Community and Cops program than for an incident-gone-bad that results in the death of an innocent person, whether that person is a citizen or law enforcement. There are ways to build those bridges and cross those lines with love.

To all undocumented immigrants: If I had my way you could all stay. But obviously I don’t run the country, and we now have reached a time when the persons in power are enforcing laws that have been on the books a long time. In addition they are making up new rules faster than we can deal with them. I get it that you have come from a dangerous and hostile world and logically see the US as a safe haven. And suddenly, it is not. I am so sorry for the pain you have experienced at our hands and the lack of options it seems you have, the danger in your home country. I do not know the answers or solutions. I do know that you deserve to be treated humanely, and to stay with your children. You are in my heart and my prayers, and those of many of my fellow citizens. Don’t give up hope. America is not living up to its ideals at this moment, but the ideals are still valid. Martin Luther King said, “I have a dream!” He did not live to see his dream unfold. Still his vision and the power of his work has inspired hundreds of thousands of others, and helped that dream unfold. Whether you are able to stay in the US or must return to your own country, keep your dream of a better life, a better world, and safety alive. Find others to join you and change something for the better.

The only way we can continue to live in relative peace in this beautiful land is to respect and trust each other more, rather than less. Let love lead the way.

Here are the simple but powerful things you can do, whichever group you find yourself in:

Remember America’s founding principles of justice, equality and freedom for all. Apply it to others, not just to yourself. What have you done today to honor another?
Make your Love an active principle. Love in action looks like kindness, honor and respect. Create it everywhere you go. No matter what. Where have you been kind today?
Honor Truth. Speak truth. Research everything you share. Don’t spread gossip, lies and propaganda. Everyday, dig a little deeper for the real truth in some story you hear. Be truth. What have you researched today?
Educate yourself about all these things. Follow your curiosity with reputable sources. Create questions. Look for the answers. History can teach us so much. What have you learned today that you didn’t know before?

Despite everything I remain an optimist. If I’m wrong, I would rather live as an optimist anyway. But hope and action and love are powerful forces. I invite you, my fellow Americans of all persuasions, to join me in these actions. Our beloved nation is at stake. And it belongs to all of us. Let Love lead the way.

Linda Chubbuck June 2018

February 22, 2018 Gratitude, Judgment, Love or Fear, Pivot Post a Comment

Pivoting To Claim Your Miracle

Have you ever been stuck in a confined space (like an airport terminal waiting area) with a crying baby nearby?

Let me guess… your thoughts scroll through this list: “Poor kid. Wish the mom would do something. Ommmm. Ignore it. Baby will quit soon – surely! For God’s sakes what is wrong with that kid! What is wrong with that mom!? Ommmmm… I want the peace of God…”

Safe bet that most of the travelers within earshot are entertaining similar thoughts, and the emotions that arrive on the heels of their thought-of-choice.

But here’s a story I read this week about several women who did something different. Pivoted.

In the LA airport (I’ve been through it – not an uplifting place IMO), a toddler waiting with his pregnant momma began to cry, then to wail. He had a total meltdown and despite his momma’s best efforts, would not board their plane nor stop screaming. His mother, because of his size and her pregnant belly, could not just pick him up and take him.

After several failed attempts the mother did something unusual.. she knelt down beside her screaming son and wept on the floor.

Who knows what thoughts were going through the minds of those nearby?

But something shifted. One by one, several women nearby got up and knelt down beside the weeping mother and her screaming son, making a circle around them. Beth, the woman who later told the story on Facebook, sang Itsy Bitsy Spider. Another woman peeled an orange to offer. Another found a little toy in her handbag. Another helped the momma get out a sippy cup and get her son a drink.

Suppose any of them were praying as well?

Both Momma and Son calmed down, were able to board the plane, and the circle of 6 or 7 women dissolved back into the waiting passengers, without discussing the incident.

A miracle of connection, calming and gratitude happened where there was anger, fear and despair before.

What catalyzed the pivot?

Someone – then several someones – chose gratitude and love over grudges and judging.

Instead of resenting the mom, ignoring the crying, or judging the situation, the women chose loving action and presence.

A Course in Miracles says Judgment is the weapon I would use against myself, to keep the miracle away from me. (from Lesson 347)

If you stay in judgment and resentment you will never know what miracle could have appeared if you pivoted into gratitude. Maybe your miracle was simply your peace of mind. Or maybe it was something far more astonishing.

Like a Circle of Women appearing to transform despair into peace in the LAX terminal.

copyright Linda Chubbuck 2018

September 18, 2017 Channeling, Conversations with Yeshua, Empowerment, Love or Fear Post a Comment

A Proclivity for Violence

Conversations with Yeshua. This is channeled material, edited minimally for clarity only. It is personal information given to me and my husband Stan, but relevant to many situations and this is one I am asked to share with the world.

Stan: I’m asking about my body… my body’s kind of structural aches and pains that are becoming chronic.

Would you reword that? Becoming implies future, correct?

S. Yeah.

Can you say something along the lines of “pains that have been with me for awhile and I’m ready to be done with them”?

S: Yeah, certainly.

Can you feel the difference in that?

S: Yes. I’m ready to move forward on healing several aspects of my body and I have different practitioners and different ways forward and I just wondered if there was any guidance.

Yes, we’re glad you asked. So are you ready for some honesty?

S: YES.

The Familiarity of Violence

We believe that you remain unaware of this factor. We’re going to put it into words and ask you to look at it and be willing to heal this first of all. And you will be astonished at how much else heals. That is, you have a proclivity for violence in language, in actions, in thoughts. Because you have matured and grown as a loving being, the damage has been confined to primarily your own body and aches and pains. You have not had a lot of accidents in your life. Violent thoughts can draw to yourself accidents and you have not had a lot of those.

Nevertheless those thoughts are influencing your body. Can you feel the truth in what we say or do you feel resistance?

S: No, I can feel that.

Does it feel extremely familiar to you, that way of being?

S: Yes.

What would it take to have that not feel familiar? What would it take to release that?

S: Well, that overarching love feeling (discussed earlier here: Put Joy and Love )–bringing love to bear at every moment and every aspect.

All right, let’s take a moment and just explore that, with no other concerns about healing right now. Just explore. When we use the word violence and suggest that’s a chronic streak in your state of mind, and you can agree that this is so, can you give us a couple of recent examples of this?

S: I spoke of a terrorist that should be ground into pulp. Quite often I react with anger and violence to cars that are speeding. And there’s no love at all.

And underlying the violence would be… is it fear? Can you take it back a layer? Just peel back the layers and see what’s behind there?

S: Hmmm.. it’s kind of like if I did that I would face certain violence against me. As if I’m saying “Don’t you know that doing this will mean that you will be violently treated — or injured?”

Let yourself explore that for a moment. Just feel it. Any one of the incidents that feels close to you. Just let yourself go there. Let yourself go back.

Love and Violence

Any words, any shapes, any colors, any stories that come to you now, just speak them. If you wish, travel back in time, like you do with Inner Counselor.* There is something in you says “This is the answer to life. This is the answer to difficult, the answer to pain, the answer to problems.”

We invite you to let that unfold..

S: I’m remembering a practice we (my family) had with the dogs and cats we liked — the barnyard cats that were effective, the dogs we fell in love with. We would hold them down and run over their tales with a wagon or a tractor.

How did you feel during that?

S: Very conflicted as a young boy.

What was the conflict?

S: Deliberately hurting the creature.

And calling it Love?

S: Right.

Do you believe it was love?

S: “It’s for your own good.” A phrase I heard a lot. “I’ll beat you now but it’s for your own good.”

Uh-hmm. Let your heart feel that.

A Violent Prescription?

You’ve mentioned experiencing a lack of training, training that leads a young person to a better place. And in place of training was episodic violence.

S: Yes.

And do you see how you have matured into a man who controls that violence? You are not a violent person towards other people. But you also haven’t really healed it.

It’s as if there’s a streak of violence and the anguish that goes with it running straight through your body. Vertically. And it can’t just live there peacefully, it has to be expressed. So there’s this violent edginess, watching for someone that needs a violent prescription.

Including yourself.

Do you see how difficult it is for your body to be completely at ease, completely healthy? With that streak very present?

S: Yeah.

So think of any animal or child that you love without reservation. Who comes to mind?

S: Oh… Max.

Alright. Now put him in your arms, in your heart. Would you run over his finger to keep him from doing something that he should not?

S: No.

Why not?

S: It’s a bad lesson.

What would you do instead?

Can Love Be the Teacher?

S: I would talk to him. Explain things. Give him examples. Let him practice the right behavior.

And if he failed?

S: I might try it in a different setting.

Do you think love itself can be a teacher? Love and experience and wisdom? Or is violence a necessary part of teaching?

S: It’s not.

We invite you to revisit your own lessons in violence and your own tendency in that direction and put them side by side with Max. And consider if you are wiling to let them go.

This may have to happen over a period of days or weeks. You may even want to have a ceremony of release. You’ll find that when you do this, when you allow yourself to become aware and then choose to release that habitual reaction— that your body will heal so quickly you will be amazed.

A Love Brigade

S: I see a vision of a very strong rigid hedge post somewhere down the middle of my body.

Yes.

S: And a kind of a love brigade of composting organisms that are starting to turn it into valuable material by slowly digesting it.

Yes. You’ll need to make a commitment to catch yourself because these violent thoughts are aimed at the world at large, at drivers and others, at yourself. They are random grenades that are thrown off. Your awareness is the first medicine.

You have to make a choice that this thought is not useful. It’s not coming from love and it’s not the way you want to live your life. Once your’ve made that intention and decision, your awareness will increase, and then it’s a matter of just breaking those habits.

Have we given you enough of a road map to find your way into healing from this?

S: Yes.

Catch all of those thoughts and bring Max into the picture. Ask: “Would I do this to him?”

S: Right. And everyone is beloved of God.

Yes. Alright. We are glad you come to listen. We’re always glad to connect. We are always present, but an intentional connection is different than just vague awareness.

Have a blessed day.

* Inner Counselor is a process developed by Ann Nunley, MFA, Preceived September 9, 2017

September 13, 2017 Channeling, Conversations with Yeshua, Love or Fear Post a Comment

Put Joy and Love over the Top of Everything

Stan: I’m just learning a bit about putting positive emotion behind my intentions. And it seems pretty valuable. Do you have any comments on that? In meditation or waking life?

It’s very foundational that your two basic energetic states are fear, which includes anger and judgment and all forms of what are called negative emotions. Self-righteousness, defensiveness… feel how all of those are fear? Even though they may have different names, and different nuances they are all different flavors of fear.

And love.

Fear is contractive while love is expansive. Love is generosity and clear seeing, tenderness, faith. So when you talk about putting positive emotion behind some intention you are talking about combining it with love as opposed to combining it with fear. Love is the expansive emotion. Love is the energy of creation.

Fear Cannot Really Do You In

So yes, if you want to manifest your creations you merge them with love. If you merge that same intention with fear, there is a creative element to fear, but it is essentially the energy of the Universe showing you that fear cannot really do you in.

Fear cannot take away the ultimate reality. So you have to go through a certain number of illusions if you invoke fear. You have to go through illusions to prove to yourself that these can’t really take away the truth.

Do you understand what we’re describing?

S: Uh-hmmm.

Think of a story that has several endings and you choose the endings. And the prompter on the side of the stage sends in the right characters for the ending that you are setting up. And it doesn’t change reality, but it changes your story for the time being.

Does that help? Do you need a specific?

Living Under a Cloud

S: No. It seems you have to wake up to know that fear can’t take away the love underneath. If you’re not awake fear can be your reality and seem to be real. It’s like living under a cloud.

You realize that most of the teachings that we taught and left you with, that were written down, some in a familiar form, some in a not-so-familiar form, are expressing that.

S: Uh-hmmm.

Helping the human race get past living from fear is a huge assignment. But more and more people are coming to it. The time IS now.

Over the Top? Or Under the Foundation?

S: I’ve been pessimistic a lot of my life and it’s revelatory to just put joy and love over the top of everything. I’ve only started doing it in the last month.

Or under the foundation of everything, however you wish to look at it.

S: It’s there at the foundation of everything, and I need to consciously invoke it. And align with it.

Fears are Obligated to Appear

And these fears are obligated to show up to prove to you that they can’t really destroy you.

S: But you may not come to that realization until later.

Even until death sometimes.

S: Thank you. Good.

You are welcome and we’re glad that you ask these good questions.

This conversation happened in the early morning September 9, 2017.