Conversations with Yeshua. This is channeled material, edited minimally for clarity only. It is personal information given to me and my husband Stan, but relevant to many situations and this is one I am asked to share with the world. From a conversation with a client.
Client: I wonder if you have any comments about my writing. Last night I had an experience stimulated by a discussion with a friend who was very troubled. I thought the discussion went pretty well and I was able to support her, but then in the middle of the night I lay awake for more than an hour with this kind of as-yet-unwritten blog post. Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe that this level of wisdom is coming through me. That it’s really trustworthy and it’s not just my ego. This applies also to my poetry. I feel kind of in awe of these things that come to me, and yet sometimes I don’t really honor them by writing them down.
That’s very well put. It is a condition of being human. Some people are gifted with this wisdom from early in life, and some open up to it as they mature and lessen the grip of the ego. Human artists are gifted with wisdom that is unique to them, but comes through many of them with a higher level of understanding, a higher level of awakening than they are ready to live.
This is the normal state of humanity. If you honor that gift and choose to grow with it by writing it down, you still have the freedom to be the Censor. You have the freedom to say, “Well, that one’s not going out into the world!” or “Man, that’s good!” and get feedback by sharing it.
If you commit to doing that, the gift you get is that gradually you have your own coach, your own wisdom, your own counselor. All you have to do is make some effort to open your eyes, and to benefit from what’s coming through you.
You have experienced that people respond to things that have come through you that seem very personal to you, and that to some extent you don’t even feel you have completely got yourself. You’ve stated that you can coach a young person and they will get it and here you are still struggling with the same issue.
C. Yes.
Universal Hall at Findhorn Stained Glass
This is not uncommon. You can receive wisdom through you that is a higher level of awakening than you can sustain. That’s the irony. But the benefit is that if you continue to work with what’s coming through you, as your gift to yourself and to humanity, you almost inevitably will grow. It’s very difficult to keep bringing this material through and stay asleep.
C. Well, I’m doing the best I can. I understand.
And so, if it seems worthy, put it down. You still get the right of censorship. But you’ll see, as you did with your poetry book, that there’s value in it, to others and to you. You could read through your book of poetry every few months and let it zing you.
C. Yeah.
“Oh my gosh… I didn’t understand that back then but now I do.” This is normal for humans. It may not be talked about much, but it is normal.
Artists don’t want to say “I didn’t really understand that when I wrote that book or that song.” And then some of them gradually begin to live into the wisdom of what they’ve been putting down. But it is there for you. It’s also there for others.
Even if it seems foolish, when you have a strong urging to write it down we encourage you to do that and then decide later what is its fate.
C. Well it doesn’t seem foolish, it seems amazing. I’m kind of fascinated by the ideas that are coming. So far I’ve not had the time today to sit down and type it up.
This is how Linda experiences the channeling. It was 23 years ago that we first made contact with her. It’s only been the last couple of years that she really considered the possibility that this connection might have gifts for herself and for the world— in what comes through her. We ask you to consider: if you were to regularly write when something comes to you that seems amazing, whether it’s a poem or a concept or a blog, that you write it down, soak it up, and share the ones that seem appropriate.
Can you consider how over the course of a few months or a year, that your life might change because of it?
C. Yep.
This is truly available to humans. But the reason it seems so extraordinary is that so few humans choose to listen. Your sense and Linda’s sense of amazement and shock are multiplied many hundreds of times over in ordinary humans… not that you are not ordinary humans but you understand what we mean. You are both, to some degree, listening.
For most people the sense of immersion in the culture and the status quo are so strong that something that might disturb the status quo is just beyond their ability to see or hear. So the fact that you can both see and hear this is remarkable and you have arrived in a very tiny percentage of the human race. But a very powerful percentage of the human race, as this is where the growth happens. This is where the unconditional love can break through.
Conversations with Yeshua. This is channeled material, edited minimally for clarity only. It is personal information given to me and my husband Stan, but relevant to many situations and this is one I am asked to share with the world. From a conversation with a client.
Client: I have experienced a great deal of sense of separation and I’ve come to understand that it is separation not only from God but separation from my Self. I’ve had glimpses of not feeling that so much, but I still don’t know how to progress in the right direction of my Self or God. I’m asking for direction or teachings or practices that would help me to feel more connected with my Self and with God.
A very beautiful question. We hear the depth and clarity in the question.
C. There’s a lot of pain in that experience.
Yes, we understand that.
So we are willing to talk around this for a little bit, but the simplest answer is one that you already know and that you find difficult to live. Nevertheless we’ll start there and perhaps we’ll find additional guidance that will help.
The experiences you have had are real, in the human sense, and the pain is real… to the extent that the experiences have been real. But all experiences arrive in this present moment. If you don’t retell or rewind and replay the stories, you are safe and connected.
It’s as if the channel is stuck in a groove, a rut of going back to these stories of isolation and separation and aloneness. And injustice. When the channel keeps going back there you replay the pain, renew the pain. But the You that is now in this moment is not so disconnected as those stories are. For a variety of reasons.
You are sharing with others in your work numerous ways you know to be with yourself to experience life. The moments of sitting at a campfire and watching it are a connection with Self and a connection with both the non-physical world and the physical world. In that moment you are present. In that moment you don’t experience aloneness.
The groove of isolation was worn deep through many lifetimes of this. You have brought those experiences into this lifetime deliberately to bring them into consciousness, and heal them.
And in your healing you have gifts for others. Because many people experience it. Many people may not have gone as deep into the aloneness as you did, but they know what it is and they fear it. Your poems are like nuggets of pain wrapped in beauty that you can give to the world, that loosens the grip of that pain for others.
You are reasonably compassionate with yourself. But what is needed is if you can pull yourself into the Light, pull yourself into your own consciousness. Just like an addict who has struggled repeatedly, or a slave who has gone through many lifetimes as a slave, or someone who was brutally put to death – you have a deep groove, you have experienced many lifetimes of isolation and loneliness.
Now you are here, in this lifetime with tools, education, awareness and circles of comfort — resources to find your way out and in so doing leave a trail of light for others to follow.
Heart of Light by Adam C Johnson
So as you talk to yourself about all of this — if you say “there’s something wrong with the world, there’s something wrong with me that I had to experience so much desperate loneliness” then that’s part of continuing to make that groove deep. But if you say, “there are mysteries about being human on this planet and somehow I experience a lot of aloneness. But here I am, in a lifetime of healing and empowerment from that, and the more that I remind myself of that, the more that grip loosens, and the more nuggets and tools I have to help others as well.”
If you say that, it’s a different story, it doesn’t deny your pain. But it gives you a different story and a different meaning to it.
C. Well, your image of leaving a trail of light moves me…I feel so humbled that I do see myself doing that. And so grateful that I’m well enough to do that. But I still haven’t found a whole lot of relief in my own consciousness. There’s still just a lot of pain, a lot of loneliness, not very much companionship, not very much love and I’m just in a lot of fear. And I don’t .. I’m not very good at comforting all that.
What we would say to that specifically is that there are many physical circumstances for humans on this planet that seem to create suffering, and the suffering seems inevitable. When the pain comes and you say “I’m so alone, I don’t have companions, I don’t have a woman that I want,” and you want to say that to yourself because it seems true. And what we will tell you is that as difficult as it sounds, that the answer is… you can speak back to That Voice – and say “I do have friends. I do have people who love me. I don’t have so many friends or I don’t have someone to live with, but I do have people.”
It’s almost as if That Voice is a bully in your psyche, in your Self. And it’s up to you, the Conscious One, to respond with whatever measure of truth you can generate and believe. We know there’s a voice in you that’s screaming “But that won’t help!” and we’re saying that after you do that — respond — for awhile, you’ll realize that you do have more of what your bully was trying to tell you you had none of. And we say — That’s Not Nothing.
That is a way to improve (as Abraham says), to improve your vibration. With yourself you must be sensitive to the fact that you will fail if you say to yourself “I do have the ideal woman. She’s in my life and I’m married to her…” you will fail at that. Because you are not ready to believe it.
But if you instead speak back to That Bullying, Intimidating Voice that says, “You’re always alone. You don’t have anybody. You’re a loser,” and if you say, “No I do have friends. I have my buddy that I can call most anytime. I have G. I have T. I have my Circle.”
Declare the truth about what you do have, as a shield against the accusations, and your energy of being loved will expand. Your energy of being Loved and being part of a community, however small, is ready to grow. But you have to help it grow.
The voices from the pain of the past, the Pain Body, as Eckhart Tolle calls it, wants you to hurt more and forever. And the You that is YOU has to talk back to that voice and to notice what you have, and act on what you have. And what you have will flourish. We won’t try to tell you what could happen or under what timing, but anything that you lovingly tend… flourishes.
C I hear that.
We understand how diabolically tempting these stories of pain are. But we also know that you have a great deal of wisdom. It’s almost like you have to see those stories as the Pain Body, you have to see that Voice as the Devil that Sits on the Shoulder. You have to find your own way that makes sense to you to respond back.
Lest you feel too challenged by that, know that anyone wanting a physical healing has to do the same thing. Anyone who may be imprisoned has to do the same thing. Anyone who may be desperately poor has to do the same thing.
There are many conditions of lack or limitation to which this is the core answer. Sometimes there are people who are successful in saying “yes, I have the woman of my dreams, she’s here,” and in 2-3 weeks she appears.
But for most people the “all or nothing leap of faith” doesn’t work in chronic situations, and instead there’s this gentle slope: first, “I can believe I’m safe. I can believe there are people who love me. I can believe that there are people I can call when I need to.” Then, “I can believe that I have a whole set of activities, which I can write down, to do, to comfort myself when I feel this aloneness.”
You have to believe it until you’ve created this Swirl of Love and Light and Stardust and Connection around you and then it can begin to grow.
We’re showing an image of you, literally in your living room, swirling, twirling with sparkles around you, of the Light and Joy, of Energy, of Intention.
This Swirl is made up both of people who love you, but also of your own sense that you have tools, you have connections.
We hope you hear that not as an indictment of any sort but as a description.
One more image… you have a garden. To some degree you just leave it alone and it does what it does. Think of your favorite plants, perhaps a couple of heirloom tomatoes. One of them you go out and you love. You tell it how beautiful it is and how much you enjoy it and you lapse into paroxysms of delight when it gives you a tomato. The other one you go out and cry to, and tell it how sad you are that it’s not growing very well.
You can say “But I want More, and I want it bigger!” And we understand that, that’s legitimate. But anything will flourish more under gratitude than it will under lack.
This is channeled material, edited minimally for clarity only. It is personal information given to me and my husband Stan, but relevant to many situations and this is one I am asked to share with the world.
We are glad for many reasons that you come to listen today. Your center has been dislodged and shaken and you will find this process very centering particularly as you bring it into the light of day. Things are in motion for you to do that.
As you experience the love and wisdom and direct guidance that comes through you, your faith in these realities is restored. So let’s start with a question of yours first. Stan do you have any questions to start with?
The obvious one would be, is there anything I need to know or ask or be aware as I head into this negotiation [for] this job?
Take us with you. Leave behind habits you have carried with you your whole life and carry Truth with you instead. Leave behind stories, states of mind, anxiety, approval seeking. Just be present in this moment.
Can you feel a shift in you as we speak about that?
Yes.
That’s the place you want to come from. The present moment as a Warrior, the present moment as a Magician. The present moment as a King.
In the archetypal realm, your Lover has been dominant, including the shadow side. And we could well advise you in this negotiation your lover needs to take a back seat, or even be left at home. This is a negotiation for the King. This is a negotiation for the Warrior. If you hold those energies as you prepare, all will be in order.
You are surrounded by a circle of men on this earthly plane that you know, but you are also surrounded by a circle of elders, including BoB, including others that have loved you in lifetimes you don’t remember. This doorway opening is a chance for you to shine and influence and empower others in ways you have longed to do but not known how to do it. This job opens that doorway to you. And to step into that job you need to step into a different energy that you have experienced but not held.
You would have moments. Then you would go back to the older patterns of lack and approval-seeking, victimization and resentment.
This position has no room for those. And you will be best served by spending the next few days in anticipation noticing when you slip into victim, noticing when you slip into approval seeking. Noticing when you slip into flash judgments and resentments. And other habitual energy stances that do not serve you, or the Whole.
First Damaged Tire in the Cotswolds
This is a chance to grow. And you are up to it. You have had experience there. The story that would probably serve you best is the two damaged tires in the Cotswolds right before your once in a lifetime opportunity.* Do you recall the energy of that situation?
I do.
What did you have to do to get out of that space of anger and victimization and frustration?
Shift my energy to the job at hand, and keep my eye on the outcome I needed. And put away, simply banish those other thoughts.
Keep that story in mind. And we’re not predicting there will be mishaps, that’s not what we’re saying. What we’re reminding you of is the damaged tire, the things going wrong, the unfairness. That’s been a lifetime energy stance of yours. Are we correct?
Yes.
We’re not saying it occurs every moment. But frequently. And that set of circumstances was juxtaposed to give you an opportunity to step out of that, deliberately. Not because the problem was solved but because it was necessary. And so here, with this new opportunity—if there’s any thought of “it never works out,” or “I don’t really want this” or any of those victim thoughts that are so familiar to you, they’re all damaged tires. They won’t take you where you want to go unless you have the Divine Help that just simply transcends them.
And you will recall that the second damaged tire did take you where you needed to go, the remainder of the trip.
Yes.
(A pause here….) We want Linda to be able to hear.. to step completely out of the way, and just hear what we have to say. So we’re helping her to do that right now.
Linda, the lessons of this time are profound for you. We know it’s challenging and uncomfortable.**
Where you are heading is into a deep…a deep belief in yourself and what you have to offer. And to do that you are being taken through a time of being disappointed in what others have to offer in the way of solutions. We’re not saying you are completely alone. We’re just saying the Others don’t have your answers. Nothing is deeply wrong with you. And all of these symptoms will resolve and heal. All of them.
At the same time that you are asking for some help from Dr. [J] and Dr. [W] and others, the healing comes from inside you. And if you want to ask what else should I be doing now to heal, the answer is… trust in yourself.
You have something big to offer. And you have not believed in yourself enough to bring it to the surface. We not only want you to bring it to the surface once, we want you to stay on the surface, and walk on the water. It’s no coincidence that the story about the water skiing (see footnote at page bottom) has been running through your mind the last few days, or that you saw Ellen [DeGeneres]*** speak of her time of speaking her truth and being shut out for a period.
You are in the middle of that time, of experimenting with the principles and feeling that they don’t work, for you… and you don’t know if you have anything important to say anyway… you are There.
And there is a Light just beyond where you see right now. As far as your own personal healing goes, it’s less about take that supplement and eat that food, and more about Absolutely Know This Healing Is Yours. And all things will come together, including your vision, including your body working perfectly, in all ways again, including your radiance, your beauty, your truth, your voice.
And you will look back on it and realize that the rough spots in the path had to happen in part to remove you from the belief in a formula that was going to fix you.
Do either of you have any other questions, small or large?
I’m inspired to ask… what kinds of awarenesses and understandings would Linda need to feel secure given her family of origin and experiences of abandonment? Are there processes or awarenesses or insights that can help her body settle into relaxation rather than over-alert mode?
That’s a very good question and even though it might not seem tremendously visible she is doing that right now and here are the steps we can break out for you.
She had to relax about money, lay aside worry and fear about money enough to ask for the professional [medical] help she needed to feel supported. And we think you can understand that, right?
Uhhum.
So even though a professional may not have THE answer, the fact that she can explore with other knowledgeable people is helpful to her. It loosens the grip of aloneness and abandonment that she’s carried all of her life. And your presence is helpful, your literal presence. Being Presence to her is a very powerful energy that you don’t always honor. Living together is useful and helpful but really being present is powerful.
Her work with M is important. Of all the people she’s seeing now M has the strongest energy to help her get to a different place. She has the pieces set in place for this… and her fear of not enoughness and being alone are large players in this whole dynamic.
So to the extent that you can be intermittently truly present, even though it may look to you like it’s the same topic that’s been discussed many times before, that you can support her in getting the help that seems right at that time and that you can absolutely trust and you can help her trust that she will completely heal from this and that her gifts in the world are linked to this experience… all of those are powerful.
The gift is something like “Know Yourself, Trust in Yourself and your connection to the Divine. You have gifts for the world and you are healed.” Her lesson is something like that and any part you can play in supporting that and remembering that [is vital].
That’s not unlike the lesson everyone is offered. Does that help for you?
Uh Hum.
Encourage her to transcribe this lesson. You are never alone. You have a council of elders with you as you go to [your interview] and whatever day that might be we encourage you to NOT listen to the radio on the way down and NOT worry, but instead to imagine yourself surrounded by your guides and your men. Know that as you move into this job, the energy that you want is not the shadow lover—who is fine and will still appear—but instead the golden version of the King and the Warrior, who have something powerful to give to the world. and will richly enjoy every part of it.
And with that we say You are blessed. Thank you for listening.
Afternotes:
*Cotswolds and damaged tires: In April 2016, Stan and I were in England at the invitation of Prince Charles, for Stan to speak on Composting at the Highgrove Gardens Festival. We were driving a rented car on the left side of a very narrow, heavily travelled, super-fast winding road. We had a blowout in a dangerous location. We were rescued and the tire was replaced, amidst adrenalin and angst. The following day we drove to Tetbury, in preparation for Stan’s speech. The evening before his talk, we hit another curb/highway marker and again, the new tire was damaged. We were in shock. Self-judgments, anger, and frustration were going off like fireworks in both our minds. But he had prepared for this talk – literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So after careful examination we chose to calm ourselves and pray, and to drive on this second damaged tire. On the eve of his speech, he walked a spell in the rainy English countryside, getting his mojo and his peace back. Setting the damage and worry on the back burner. The next afternoon, the speech was awesome and very well received. The tire carried us the remainder of the trip. AND insurance paid 100{e5e6110c802fdb1e05cdfcf4662e0e010d7c870f1f57cfa3ea8c73ada09f2974} of both tires.
** At the time of this channeling my health issues were long-term double vision and my frustration over not finding/getting a healing about this, plus a several-weeks episode of serious sinus congestion.
*** Ellen DeGeneres speaks in a Tulane University commencement address of her coming out time, both privately and on her show, facing her fears and doing it. And how she was then fired. For 3 years after her phone didn’t ring. But meantime, she was getting letters from young people telling her how brave she was and how it made such a difference to them to hear her come out. After a time, she was offered her own new show. And she says, “it had to be like that.” A few moments after this channeling, this came to me: “What if the fact that I’m suffering doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong to bring this on, but it is simply part of the journey? The journey of deepening and enriching my soul? What if the suffering we are experiencing is actually soul work—to grow us from one level to another?”
