Just before Christmas, after losing some sleep and other things I termed “stressful,” my vision – for the maybe 10th time in my life – went double. I was upset and afraid, because suddenly I could not drive… every person I was talking to became double… movies were impossible unless I covered one eye completely… and more.
Christmas night I cried with fear and frustration. Why was this happening to me again? What did I do wrong and what could I do about it?
As I caught my breath from crying, I heard the Voice that I hear… “you are terrorizing yourself with your thoughts about food, blood sugar, your body. You tell yourself that food is more powerful than your thoughts – but it is just the opposite.”
It was stunning and I could recognize the Truth in it. But I didn’t really know what to do about it.
So I began wearing my eyeglasses (instead of my contact lenses) so I could use the plastic (stick-on) prism that allows the images to come back together. I could drive again. But my view of the world was slightly blurred from the prisms, and I dislike wearing the glasses for many reasons.
January went by. At times I cried about my vision.. would it ever heal? What should I do? I visited my MD, who strongly encouraged an MRI – a brain scan. She also tested me for MS. I passed, so she did not push me to a specialist there. Each prospect triggered a touch of fear in me, though I remained convinced there was nothing seriously wrong with me.
I passed the MRI with no abnormalities. No dark diagnosis hung on the horizon.
Still, my vision remained double, and I wore my glasses from morning till night. I theorized that my blood sugar was so sensitive, my metabolism so touchy, that eating sugar or processed foods, or losing sleep… or getting too upset – all of those could put my system so out of balance that my eye muscles “snapped,” or “went out.” This process happens to diabetic patients sometimes with their vision, and that’s the best explanation I had ever had. To keep this all from happening, I have diligently managed my eating and stress.
Here, I could write a book. But I won’t.
Fast forward to February…. six weeks after it began.
I wrote this in my prayers the morning of February 4.
— You have terrorized yourself with your thoughts about your body and food, declaring that food is MORE powerful than your thoughts. It is exactly the opposite… but as with all things, your thoughts have “made it so.” Your body obediently overreacts to many foods now. And you hold the fear of that all the time.
Are you ready for an undoing?
YES! Please undo this for me. I have no wish to diminish my Trust by making small thoughts. Help me. Once again I give this fear to You.
My fear is this… that sugar and processed foods are like a toxin to my body and it goes into kind of a chemical shock-state when I eat very much sugar. I am afraid of that state and afraid of overdoing it. I am afraid of the power – the negative power – sugar has in my life. I am afraid of sugar’s poisoning effect.
******
That day I began to affirm – off and on throughout the day – “I have a strong and stable metabolism. I can handle anything.” And “my eyes are unified and stable – I see clearly.” After the fearful thoughts were outed, it became easier to state the affirmations and actually believe them.
During this time, I came to a line in A Course in Miracles: “Be sure of what you want, and doubt becomes impossible.”
I want clear Vision in all senses of the word. I want a Guided Life.
For two weeks or more, as best I can, I have just been peaceful with my eyes and my body. I have taken no extraordinary measures. I have eaten well, but not perfectly (some sugar, some processed food). I have refused to talk to myself in any way that is disempowering. I have done my best to resist going into fear or worry, or demands for timing/healing now. I have avoided “why?!” and “how soon?!”
Ten days went by. I refused to go into fear, however small or subtle. Last Saturday I even had 2 small pieces of cherry pie and ice cream – sugary! – at a birthday party. I could feel the fear of the consequences starting in my body/mind, but reiterated to myself.. I have a strong metabolism. I can handle all kinds of things! My body is strong and stable and my eyes work together perfectly.
Sunday I went to a gathering with a psychic. Everyone else asked questions and I could feel the impulse to ask “How do I heal my eyes? Why aren’t they healed yet? What should I do?” But it seemed somehow disrespectful. To myself. To the healing process already happening. By now, I could feel that healing was happening. I knew it. So I asked nothing.
Today, I woke up and my eyes are so together I was able to put on my contacts. I am celebrating! There’s only one house across the street… only one Stan… only one of the paintings on the wall.
I am elated. But also, I’m in awe.
I did not heal myself. I did not ask God to heal me and He did. I asked to release all the things that blocked Truth. And, that happened.
I can see again. Joy!!
February 17, 2015
What a fabulous blog post Linda! Thank you for sharing this amazing journey with us. I am inspired and in awe. I see how I have done a similar thing with food. I have been adjusting my relationship to food for the past week to deal with a health challenge and your story gives me so much hope and confirmation that I am on the right track!
February 17, 2015
Thanks Rima! It’s good to know others are working in similar veins!
February 17, 2015
Linda, You are such a powerful teacher for me. Thank you so much for sharing your love and your fabulosity.
Blessings,
Pam Grout
February 17, 2015
Congratulations, Linda! It’s been a lesson in Truth to watch your process. I realize how this has worked in my life also. I’m betting you will not have to worry about this again. YAH!!!!!
February 18, 2015
[…] blog post I got from a friend yesterday. Do yourself a favor and read it yourself (it can be accessed here), but to summarize, my friend Linda, like most of us, had picked up a lot of “rules” about how […]
February 18, 2015
Thanks Linda for an inspiring post. I have been experiencing my own struggle with food and body judgements and even though I am eating mindfully my body is not releasing the extra kilos I have put on. I realise I need to ask to unblock the Truth. Thank you, Xenia
February 18, 2015
Dear Linda, I loved your post! It is an eye-opener and it also lead me to the truth. I have also been struggling with blood sugar and what I can or can not eat. Last night I even mentioned to my daughter that I was not liking having to look and count carbs and sugar and all that. There has also been a lot of fear, but this post has cleared many doubts and it’s helping me to get on the right path. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I also thank Pam’s post that lead me here.
It gives me a lot of hope and it thrills me that you have regained your sight. Thank you once again.
Julia =)
February 18, 2015
Julia, I still do my best to eat well/healthy/consciously. What has changed is what I am saying to myself about the way I eat, the occasional detours I take. I can really feel a difference as I do this. I think Anita Moorjani’s book (Dying to Be Me) talks of a similar state of mind and dynamic. However, it took me this long to “get it!” Thanks for the comments.
February 18, 2015
Hello!
Roughly 3 years ago I suffered a massive stroke that left the entire left side of my body paralyzed, and had me wheelchair bound for a year. Scores of doctors told me I would NEVER walk.
I decided that instead of focusing on what I was told I would never do, I would focus ALL my intention on what I want. I wanted to walk! I now walk a mile daily and can even walk a quarter of a mile without my cane. I time myself and challenge myself daily. I did not get better until I set my fears and doubts aside. I became a huge advocate of, A COURSE IN MIRACLES and also read PAm Grout’s book , E2 which was very helpful. By eradicating my fears I went from trying to navigate a wheelchair to driving a car on the busy LA freeways.
I also wrote and Published a book, MY WALK HOME to tell my story and provide hope to my fellow Stroke Survivors. Thank you Linda for sharing your story of hope and triumph and to Pam Grout for your books and blog posts that inspire me and so many other’s
All the best,
Bill Dendiu–Published Author
February 18, 2015
Great story Bill! One of Pam’s tenets is the power of sharing our stories (success ones especially) with each other, because they DO inspire us. Thank you for sharing yours and I’m so happy for your success!
February 18, 2015
Linda, Thanks so much for sharing this message, of faith, of trust, of the power of letting go. I sometimes wonder why we humans have to keep stepping and restepping into that vortex. I at least have to relearn this lesson over and over, just affirm, let go, and miracles happen. May your eyes guide you to many blessings, the inner eyes and the outer eyes too! Mahalo from Rickie in Oahu
February 18, 2015
I have read everything and done everything but keep telling myself the same story. What you said here resonates. My weight is affecting my vision and I still don’t stop eating too much. I know it’s the story I tell myself. Thanks for the reminder. I’m happy your vision was restored.
February 19, 2015
Linda, You sharing this has given me hope. I have been struggling with sugar addiction for too long. I’m inspired by your inner wisdom telling you “Your thoughts have made it so”. I’m ready for an undoing! As I was reading I was reminded of Anita Moorjanis book ‘Dying to be me’. So glad you have your clear vision, it’s your birthright.
Blessings, Rose
February 19, 2015
Just – thank you.
February 19, 2015
Your story is inspirational and provides hope for those with any physical problems.
February 19, 2015
Thank you for this post. My eyes quit working together over a year ago. Vision therapy made me Ill, and the prisms in my glasses made me my eyes and brain hurt. I was so afraid.
I had PRK surgery to improve my eyesight, and it took three months to heal. But over that time, I became friends with my eyes again. I gave up the fear. And after reading your post, I know that it will be ok.
February 19, 2015
Thank you for your comments Cheryl and I completely understand becoming “friends with my eyes again.” Blessings on your journey! We are working with subtle – and very powerful – energies, and learning how to do it better. Thanks for sharing a bit of your story!
February 20, 2015
You have no idea how much I needed to read this today! Thank you Pam Grout for forwarding the link. 🙂 So wonderful how we always get what we need when we need it.
February 20, 2015
Funny you mention MS, because my husband was diagnosed with MS in December, and it seems to be on my mind quite a bit – to the point of probably doing some damage to my body in some way. Definitely my mental health. I need to go forward with positive affirmations and let go of the fear. I know that.
February 23, 2015
Hi Linda!
Thank you such for your inspiring story. I have been doing a lot reprogramming of my thoughts lately and love the results I am getting. However, I didn’t even see how my thoughts have created all the many food sensitivities I have that rule mine and my families life!!!! I so much appreciate Pam and you posting your info. One more step in the transformation back to how the universe intends us all to be if we just acknowledge our inner power and energy. Thank you so much for sharing!