You know how it feels when somebody’s sound system is not right and there’s a painful screech? Ouch!! That’s how much I like feedback. Not just in music performance. In my personal and professional life too.
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[/custom_frame_left]See, when I was young, I was surrounded by people who knew what was best for me, and regularly told me so. More than my parents, it happened with my friends, who were quick to inform me of what I was doing wrong and what I should be doing instead.
I grew up anyway. Surprisingly, I didn’t become a card-carrying hippie/rebel/bra-burner. At least not openly.
But I went into the closet. I didn’t want to know what anyone else thought of me, or thought I should do. If they tried to tell me, to give me feedback, I flinched. Then I left.
Oh sure, by the light of day, I know we are all connected, we are all one (spiritually, energetically, even biologically). But hey, this is my life here! Don’t try to tell me what I could do differently. Or better. I can do it myself!
This morning I’m wondering. As an entrepreneur, how do I know what my prospective clients want if I don’t ask for feedback? As a mother, how do I know how what my kids need from me if I don’t ask for feedback? As a wife and partner, how do I know what is working and not working in our relationship if we don’t ask each other for feedback?
Feedback was tied up in a package with shame when I was young. I survived, determined to shut out that shame and manage on my own.
Now, to live connected, I’m guessing I must open the door and learn to take the good with the bad. Aaagh!! Can I hear what people want, what people think, and sort it out? Can I be sturdy enough to withstand the occasional shame trigger, to sift through to the gold of interacting at a deeper level with others? To move into partnership? Community? Interaction?
The feedback screech tells me something is wrong, out of balance. With help, the problem can be solved and the result is something powerful and beautiful. Maybe it’s worth it.
What do you think? 🙂
