LindaChubbuck | Linda Chubbuck

February 4, 2014 Coaching, Empowerment, Healing Post a Comment

Power Trip

I’m on a power trip. Not a Wolf of Wall Street spree, more of a Caving Adventure. And not the most fun trip I’ve ever taken either. I’ve hated caves ever since I watched Tom Sawyer and Becky get lost in the cave and terrorized. My own real life experience in the caves of South Dakota did nothing to change my mind, though I wasn’t lost – or terrorized except in my head.

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It started a few weeks ago, when I got this guidance/intuition to gather songs about our warrior energy. Warrior Energy, warrior songs, kept showing up in my life, so I gathered them, and launched our new Harmony Center with an evening of songs and reflections about our Warrior Energy.

But that was apparently just the beginning.

Separately or so it seemed (ha!), I was working on financial issues, and going deeper than I ever have in my life on this topic. I began to look at chronic financial struggling as an addiction issue, the illusion of lack. In the last week, I added Tapping (EFT) to the mix of what I am doing – and undoing.

Sure enough, emotions and deep issues began arising. Suddenly I saw that my financial worries are not really about money… no? Seems it’s more about Power. Power. Empowerment.

Our Rev. Erin McCabe told a story Sunday about fleas in flea circuses… yep, she does that sort of thing! That the fleas are trained by putting a large glass jar over the fleas and as they jump high, high, high, they can only jump as high as the glass jar allows. So, they learn – train themselves – to only jump that high and no higher. And, you guessed it, when the jar is removed, they continue to jump Only That High.

As a girl child of the 50’s and 60’s, I was trained in the “fix yourself up pretty, Daddy’s coming home” mode. (I had a book. I can still see the matching blue sundresses for Mama and Little Girl to put on before Daddy gets home.) I was taught by my parents and my culture not to be Too Tall (I began to slouch at 13 when I grew taller than the boys my age), Too Smart, Too Strong (don’t ever beat a man at a game or you won’t be liked), and it goes without saying…. Too Successful, Too Passionate, or Too Rich.

I was smart and I learned these lessons well. Then Women’s Lib and the feminist movement came along and I was wise enough to recognize the rightness of the issues they raised. However, I was still immersed in a male-dominated community and culture, and then I began to raise 3 children, which I was passionate about doing well. Not a popular way to spend my time in feminist circles.

I ended up completely confused.

The girls my daughter’s age and younger probably don’t think this affected them. But I can tell you, any unhealed areas in our mothers’ lives, our fathers’ lives, get transmitted insidiously to the next generation to be dealt with, maybe in a fresh new way, but still needing to be faced.

Fast forward to now – after years of creative entrepreneurship, mixed with more conventional jobs like teaching, I’m now wanting – deeply, passionately wanting – to do work that I love AND earn good money. And I need to do this.

But there are fears. There are tears. There’s confusion, frustration. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to make it work. I want to do work that is meaningful, creative, and that I get paid for.

Never have I succeeded at that combination before. There’s a voice inside me telling me it’s impossible. “There’s nothing you can do that will work… it won’t happen.”

Barbara Stanny writes about “The Collective Brainwash.” “Women don’t understand power and it’s obvious why. Money, like sex, is a powerful force. The only way to control access to such powerful forces is with equally powerful taboos. The world’s gone to great lengths to keep us in the dark.”

She continues: “Still today there are no positive words for a powerful woman (think: b#$%h or b&#$-breaker).” (From Secrets of Six Figure Women by Barbara Stanny)

It’s in our collective unconscious, the marrow of our bones… to be a powerful woman is to risk being burned at the stake, or drawn and quartered.

This is the stuff of the caving I’ve been doing. Not very fun.

Several years ago I watched the Disney movie, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. In the movie, the Minister of Justice sings a song about sinning and the fires of hell, blaming his lust on the gypsy girl Esmeralda, determined to destroy her to protect himself from his own desire.

I watched that scene mesmerized. I have lived that. I have been Esmeralda, and been despised, hunted, condemned by men for who I was, who I had the power to be.

It’s still in my bones, in the memories of my cells.

It’s hard to claim your power when your body remembers what happens when you do.

Taking a breath… I’m not in that situation anymore. I am not threatened, the people around me, the men around me would celebrate my power, my success, my prosperity. Taking another breath…..

So why don’t I just make up my mind and claim my power? Here and now? Think positive? You Go Girl!!

I guess there’s a little of the flea in me. Don’t want to hit my whole body against that glass ceiling again, so I’ll be sure to jump a little lower. I know how to do that. I’ve been trained.

It’s much harder to trust that the glass ceiling is gone. That it’s safe to be powerful. It’s safe to be passionate. It’s safe to be successful, even wealthy. No matter what I learned as a child, as a teenager, a young wife, an adult… it is now safe to be fully as powerful as I can be.

I also have to deal with my own inner demons: if I were rich and powerful, would I still be kind? Would I become greedy? Would I exploit others? Would I become a workaholic? All the judgments I ever had arise to meet me, like ghosts in the cave.

But I’m putting on my spelunking gear. I’m taking my own Light with me, and I have proper tools. I have companions, who may not be any more experienced than I, but they are brave and willing and they also have tools.

There’s treasure in this cave. And I’m not coming out until I find it. It belongs to me, it was mine since the beginning of time. I’m supposed to go in there.

I know it’s not about the destination, it’s the journey that matters. But when I’m on a power trip, when I’m going caving… that destination – the reclaiming of my own natural power – it does matter.

Bon Voyage to me.

January 25, 2014 Coaching, Empowerment, Healing Post a Comment

Our Warrior Energy

Last night, as I have many nights in the last couple of weeks, I woke early, and started to worry about money and income, as I have been lately. Mind you, I TRY not to… I know it’s not spiritual, that I need to have faith and also move my feet. But at 4 a.m. it’s easy to forget those guidelines.

So I had this little dream. “Going through the bank, on the deposit ticket (we just did a balance check or something), is the stamp in bright ink, ‘You do this at great risk!’ …. like, checking our balance indicates that we know how much is there, and that incriminates us somehow. I am confused…. why are we at risk for checking our balance?”

Whatthe?! What is that about? In the darkness I lay there pondering the meaning, and heard my Guidance say clearly and powerfully, “You are terrorizing yourself about money…. Stop. Now.”[custom_frame_left] [/custom_frame_left]

Terrorizing myself? Well, yes. I could see that all these “If you don’t… then…” voices were alive and flourishing in my mind. Despite occasional meditation and spiritual readings. And that those same voices were whipping up a pretty good lather of fear in me.

But… but… I need that! Don’t I? What else would get me to do what I need to do, for crying out loud?!

Wooaaah! Really? Do I believe that? Do I actually function like that? Do I terrorize myself with what if’s and maybe’s and you better’s and if you don’ts… like whipping a horse to make it gallop?

So I stopped to listen to those voices. I could see patterns, I could feel the meanness in the criticism. The disrespect to my self. The disregard of my spirit, my soul.

Is it possible that I might get myself to do something new, something challenging, something needed… without terrorizing myself into action?

As I held all these voices and thoughts gently in my mind, other questions unfolded: is “terrorizing” sometimes necessary to break through our denial (oh, it’s not too bad… I’m dealing with it)? Is there some other way to support myself in taking bold, never-before-done action? Does this dynamic go on in other people too? Does it go on in our culture, between people, between groups? and then… …. What if the construct of hell was created to terrorize ourselves and others into being good!?

So I have been preparing for a Warrior Energy Radical Harmony evening, coming soon. It’s on the calendar. This is the first of a series of musical/song events I’m offering, and I’ve had clear Guidance for several weeks that this is where I start. I’ve been considering, what is the warrior energy? Some people equate it with soldiers and killing others, and don’t want to have anything to do with it. But I know it’s more than that. In fact, killing others is probably the dysfunctional side of our warrior, what happens when we don’t learn to embrace and use our warrior appropriately.

Our warrior energy is the blazing light of clear seeing, the power of saying NO to what is no longer needed or respectful in our lives, the power of saying YES to letting go of comfort and security in order to grow. The warrior energy is what is called for when we make a challenging change in our lives: to quit a job that is too small for us; to take charge of our health, losing weight and exercising; to go back to school; to leave a relationship that is not healthy; to deepen our spiritual practice despite distractions. Our warrior energy blazes the trail, clears the path, stays the course, takes us where we need to go. Our warrior energy is the energy of empowerment.

Our warrior energy is the antidote to terrorizing ourselves about any topic. It can cut through fear with a crystal clear edge, and take you with it.

Fairy tales are sometimes ridiculed as sexist, romantic, outdated. But if you look at each character as part of yourself, part of the archetypes within you, fairy tales become powerful stories filled with guidance. Sleeping Beauty fell asleep, under the spell of a witch. Hmmm… any part of my life where I’ve ever “fallen asleep?” Or fallen under the spell of a variety of dysfunctions? After a very long time asleep, at long last, the “prince,” – the warrior energy – cuts through the brambles, the thickets, the veritable jungle, to reach the sleeping beauty and awaken her/it.

That warrior energy is within each one of us, however distant or long ignored it may be. We can call upon it to come in, to cut through the confusion, the jungle, the brambles, the distractions that have grown up around us.

The warrior energy has the power to awaken us. The warrior energy has the power to free us.

Reclaiming our warrior energy is not about killing, not about terrorizing ourselves or others. It is about empowering ourselves, and in the process, those we love and those who will be inspired by our example.

The world is waiting for our Warrior Energy.

December 20, 2013 Coaching, Healing Post a Comment

Knitting Love

About a month ago, I started knitting – a handmade colorful baby blanket for my first biological grandchild, who’s on the way. A year ago I would have told you “Hey, I don’t have time to knit! I’m a busy woman, working on building a new career!”

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But that’s just the beginning. You know how sometimes circumstances converge, the planets align, and the bells and whistles all ring? That’s what happened to me today. And knitting played a key role.

Overnight we kept my “bonus” grandson, Alejandro, who’s 15 months old. He arrived without a jacket, so I had my husband bring upstairs two treasured boxes of old and mostly handmade baby blankets and clothing to see if I had kept a jacket that Ale could wear. As I slowly unpacked each cherished item – I had only saved the best, the handmade, the not-worn-out – I found myself reeling as I lifted out one handmade sweater after another, in sizes from Infant to 4-5. Knitted by my mother. For my children, including Adam, the one with the girlfriend who is mother to Ale.

Here’s a tiny size 2, denim-looking jacket, complete with embossed snaps and jean-style seams… made by me, for my son Adam 30-some years ago. A lacy yellow knitted blanket made for my daughter, by her grandma (my mom).

When my pregnant daughter-in-law protests that the knitting projects are “too much work,” I tell her adamantly, “With every stitch, I’m thinking about you both, and about the baby girl growing inside. I’m knitting love.” Knitting serves as a meditation as well. A portable art that suits my life at this time. Creating a treasure, while I move from room to room, visit, travel. I am loving it! And she accepts this.

Still, I get it that knitting is a lot of work, and I’m only choosing the simplest of patterns. When I hold the tiny white sweater my mother made for my first-born Jessica, lacy and intricate, with a matching hat… I am in awe. How could I not deeply appreciate that back then? (Sure, I said thank you, and I did like it… but …. now, I get it.) What was I thinking?

Somehow, this awareness triggers a gusher of emotion… sadness that my son Adam and his girlfriend are moving across the country with Ale in just 3 weeks and I will so miss them; joy that my first grandbaby is on the way for my other son; fear that I could lose one of these many people I love so dearly at any moment…and awe at the passage of time. How could all these tiny garments belong to my children who are now moving across the country with a new family, or starting a family of their own? How could this happen? Was I not paying attention?

The magnitude of love and life and loss fills me. There is no way to stop Alejandro from growing… growing from this buddha-like smiling baby, into a mischievous fast-moving toddler… into a small boy with dreams of his own. There’s no way to stop growth. And change. And life. And loss. Even death.

We are so fragile. Those we love are so fragile. And no matter what we think or try to do, there’s no real way to protect ourselves and those we love. Anyone could be taken away at any moment.

The sense of time pierces me…. I didn’t appreciate my mother’s love and fine work, her gifts to me and my children. I was so lost in my own affairs, my own life. I took for granted the love, the hours, the intent that went into her little sweaters – a deep blue one for my son, with a Fair Isle design in red and yellow and white.[custom_frame_left] [/custom_frame_left]

Unbelievable. I wasn’t paying attention.

I couldn’t stop crying this morning. Life is so fragile. Each moment changes so quickly. If we are not paying attention, it’s gone forever. And with it, all the details of its beauty.

Is this perhaps what other grandmothers experience, when they first enter the realm of GrandMothering? Is this why my mother-in-law used to say to me, “Enjoy them while they’re young! Time goes too fast!” And I would think, “Well sure, that’s easy for you to say! Me, I’m just trying to get the laundry and meals taken care of while I deal with two toddlers!”

My experience today feels mystical and deep. I love so. And I so get it that all that I am loving is vulnerable. It hurts to pull that all into one moment of awareness.

I don’t believe I could bear it if I didn’t have a deep conviction, even an experience, that despite the fragility of all forms of Life (including me), Something – Something Real – underlies all of this beauty and fragility.

As if God is wearing 10 billion different costumes and masks, playing here on this beautiful planet.. playing a Young Woman.. oh WOW! How fun is this! Playing an Octopus… gal-up, gal-up… playing a Redwood Tree… stillness, with a whispering of the branches.

The costumes, the masks come off and vanish – but the underlying Force that comes into Form is always there, forever. Filled with Love. Being Love. It IS Love.

Yes, there is loss. I will someday lose all those I love, at least in physical form, or they will lose me. But the love remains. Beyond the physical world, love remains. And love is the force from which all this is built, this planet as a playground for the soul to practice. “Can I love in this challenging situation? Can I love even though… ?”

How can I bear it? Whatever I might know or believe, still I’m only human. I don’t want my heart broken any more than the next person. I don’t want to lose anyone.

The tiny sweaters, miniature gifts with love in each stitch, now the castoffs of my adult children… remind me. The children may have grown, as each now-adorable baby will also. But today, as I looked at the sweaters, the blankets, the tiny bathrobe I sewed.. what I saw, what I felt, was love. Not loss. Only love.

My gift to my children, to my grandchildren, to my friends, my husband, my clients… must be that Love. Loving bigger, loving deeper. Even when I know there will be seeming loss.

And my second gift? To be present. To pull my mind from this Great Understanding back into the present moment, to just be. Take care of Ale while he’s here. Run with him… play sticks with him…. follow the rooster with him. To pay attention. To knit love into every stitch, and to savor the feel of the yarn on my fingers, the growing weight of the blanket.

I bet I’m not the first grandma to figure this out.

December 13, 2013 Coaching, Harmony 1 Comment

So you say you want a man……

So you say you want a man? A partner for your life? Or a woman, a lover, a wife?

You’ve tried match.com, greensingles, maybe even harmony.com, not to mention taking classes you don’t really care about, going out when you would rather stay home, and writing in your journal until your hand cramps? You’ve tried prayer, you’ve tried visualizing, you’ve asked your friends to set you up (this last one you’ve given up on after one too many lousy blind dates)… and still – you are alone? So you want some help, some key that will unlock the door to blissful wedlock or at least long-term significant-other-ness? And somehow, you’ve come to me?

I’m honored. I am happily married (5 years now, plus 4 of togetherness before that), and getting better all the time. But my answers, my suggestions may surprise you… and you may not want to hear them. I’m going to suggest an inner harmony that precedes the harmony of partnership.

If you were really willing to listen, here’s what I would say to you:

1. Stop looking. Now.

Instead, take your journal and write. Write what kind of a person this wonderful partner-to-be is. Physical characteristics are okay, but don’t spend much time there. What you want to write about are the qualities of this person. In detail… things like honesty, courage, focus, authenticity, transparency, kindness…. or the lack thereof. Make your own list. Take a few days if you like, but be thorough. Allow your intuition to guide you. This is a portrait of the person you want to attract. [custom_frame_left][/custom_frame_left]

Is it complete? When your character description contains all you hope for, review it and ask yourself – with great honesty – am I the kind of woman (partner) this man deserves? Do I measure up to my ideal partner? If not, where do I fall short?

It is quite common to long for a partner who is more mature and evolved than you are ready for. I believe this is one of the key reasons nice people sometimes don’t have the partners they want. They could settle for someone who’s at the level they are… but their standards are higher. And either they don’t see what’s happening or they don’t want to do the work to be ready for that other partner.

So step one is to prepare yourself to be with the kind of person you truly want as a partner, in every sense of the word. Which leads to step 2.

2. Face the possibility that you might never have a partner. I know, I know, positive thinking and all that…. but Other People are amongst the most challenging things to manifest from our little human perspective and you just have to be honest about this. So get on with it, face it and make up your mind that you will be as happy as is humanly possible Even If You Don’t Ever Get A Partner. For some of you, this may involve the loss of a dream of children of your own as well. Still the process is the same. Face it. This is critical. You may have some tears, some deep grieving about this, and it’s important not to resist this. Just cry, sob, play sad music for a day or two and face this possibility head on.

Next, with that grieving behind you (or sneaking up now and then to haunt you), decide what – other than a partner – makes you happy and fulfilled and content? Owning your own home? Deepening your friendships? Developing a talent you have long ignored? Whatever it is, begin it. Fill your life full, step by step, with the activities that make you happy and make you feel connected. Don’t stop. (If you should be blessed with an opportunity to date someone, above all, do not give up these same activities for him or her. Very Important.)

3. Study and adopt the principles of healthy relationships. Practice with each friend or family member in your life: Being authentic. Taking care of yourself. Saying no when you need to say no. Being kind.

Find a therapist, a coach, great books, and be willing to look at yourself honestly. Have the courage to look at any annoying or unhealthy habits you may be unaware of. Change. And keep changing. It will feel strange at first, but will gradually feel absolutely essential. You will look back and wonder how you could have ever been any other way.

4. Become the most beautiful woman (or man) you can be. The most glowing, the most brilliant. Find role models you admire and post their pictures to remind you. Recognize your own inner beauty and become even more beautiful. Beautiful in every sense of the word…shining, loving, creative, caring, strong, no-nonsense… and more. You are beautiful from the inside out. Let that beauty, your inner harmony, show.

5. Do your own healing work, which can in turn leave the door open for a partner. Were you abused in any way? Sexually, emotionally, physically? Prepare for the possibility of partnership by doing your own healing work with the help of a process and people you trust. Deepen your spiritual practice, not as a means to get a partner, but for the sake of your peace.

Tips: *When that voice in your head says, “You’ll be alone for-EV-er!” you can respond with something like, “That may be, but dammit I’m going to be happy anyway!” And find the ways to do that.

*You don’t have to be perfect, or do these steps perfectly, to attract a partner. But there are also no free passes. Do these steps, then repeat. Continue.

And lastly? *Pray for this prospective partner that you want. When you feel tempted by longing and self-pity, flip that emotion, return that longing to the god-of-your-understanding – and deeply, earnestly, pray for this person who may become your partner. While you are at it, pray for yourself, that you may become worthy of this amazing being.

Above all, recognize your own inner value at this moment. Then work to make that visible. When you do that, your life becomes astonishing and inspired. You are in harmony with yourself.

You may even forget you wanted a man.

December 2, 2013 Song, Sound, Welcome Post a Comment

Welcome to Radical Harmony

I love harmony. I love songs with harmony. I love singing them, listening to them, writing them. I love sharing them, teaching them. You can read about “why” in Meet Linda or the Harmony Manifesto (under Linda’s Wisdom).

But here, I’m just going to describe why I know music is more than just entertainment as I welcome you to Radical Harmony.

Everywhere we are exposed to music through headphones, elevator music, piped into the stores, car or office radios, iTunes playlists, internet radio… and of course, live music, concerts, and more. We are immersed in music – but often we are paying very little attention to it.

A few hundred years ago, cultures around the globe were immersed in music as they worked, as they came together around a fire, in ceremonies and folk dancing. Music was a natural part of life, and the people themselves were the music makers. The field songs of the American slaves were a heritage of the African tribal singing practices. Appalachian folk music developed from Irish and European traditions of making music together in family and community. These ancestors of ours were creators of music, not consumers.

Today, the balance has shifted. Many more cultures are predominantly consumers of music rather than creators. Our musical lives today often reflect an unconscious and passive use of music, instead of a conscious full participation in singing and song making. (Hmmm…. sounds a little like fast food in place of growing and preparing our own?)

So, I’m not proposing that we go back. In fact, recording technology combined with the internet has made a wealth of rich song material available to multitudes of us, and allowed small indie artists to create and share their work.

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What I am proposing however, is that each of us move out of the role of music-consumer-only, and into the practice of finding your own voice – your own singing voice, or musical instrument voice or both. Reclaim your inherent gift of song. Your own voice has the ability, when claimed and practiced, to center and empower you, to balance and delight you, to connect you to your higher self and to others.

Your own voice is a key to unlock your power and your joy. Radical harmony starts with harmonizing within, with your Self. Radical harmony teaches us to appreciate dissonance, in song and in life, and to stay strong and find the resolution. From there, we move into harmonizing with others, for that electrifying experience of connection and vibration. You don’t have to go for performance. Our ancestors made music for the joy of it, not because they wanted to win on American Idol. (Or….maybe you will!) Radical harmony helps you move from consumer to creator; from listener to songmaker; from a mumble to your very own own roar.

I can help you. This web site and my work are designed to support you in unlocking your voice and your joy. Explore the site and then contact me to work together.

Let’s come together in song!

December 2, 2013 Coaching, Healing, Song 1 Comment

Good Vibrations #1

I don’t know about you, but since my early 20’s, I’ve been intentionally healing and changing. What was familiar as a child becomes clearly unworkable, even painful. I come up against some new awareness, and have to find the way to heal from it, to grow out of it.

Whether that’s patterns of eating, ways of being in relationship, thoughts about myself, or my understanding of God, by now, actually, I’m pretty much a whole new person. And I’m pretty sure I will still need to change and grow more!

So, I have this healing thing kinda down…. I know a few processes that work for me. Sure, there’s always therapy. But I’ve been prosperity-challenged often in my life (that’s one of the issues I mentioned above), and have discovered other creative, powerful processes that don’t require professional help (or at least, not much).

One of these is the Inner Counselor process, developed by Ann Nunley, PhD, which uses our own inner guidance and symbols in a powerful healing process that may take an hour or less on a specific issue.

Another self-help process is journaling – journaling the questions, the desire for healing, for breakthrough, for understanding and solutions…. and listening for the answers – setting the intention for healing and growing. The Universe has a way of responding to a plea for help.

Then there’s also various support groups, which, if well-done, can be immensely healing.

But here’s the rub. Even after you go through this healing crisis and end up with new understanding and maybe a sense of freedom… you have to support yourself in this new place. This new and very unfamiliar place.

Sorta like having successful triple bypass surgery (thank God!), then coming home knowing you have to change your whole way of eating, exercising, maybe even thinking. OMG! How do I do all this?

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I call this the need to support ourselves at the new vibration. We are all, on this planet, at this time in the history of humankind, offered an opportunity to grow, to evolve – to become more loving, more empowered, intuitive, creative and alive – more connected to ourselves, to others, to nature. If we say YES, this will in itself trigger this healing and changing process I am describing.

But we still have the default human tendency to say, inwardly, “Well, thank God, THAT’S over! Now I can go back to normal.”

We live in a time when “normal” is “change.” If you want to be part of the awakening, the evolutionary process at work in our world, you must get comfortable with change, even with deeply personal inner change. On a regular basis.

AAAAAGH!!

Have you noticed how fast and often your computer’s operating systems change and update? You can refuse to participate. But eventually you are unable to connect, at least, reliably. My theory is that upgrades just reflect what’s going on within us all.

Here’s the good news. These changes are leading us into ever greater freedom, compassion, connections, empowerment. Personal healing, when we don’t shy away from it or get stuck in the victim story, is a powerful doorway to transformation and greater brilliance and joy in our lives.

There are tools to support us in these inevitable changes. Ongoing support groups that you may find, or create yourself are one tool – such as a Twelve-step group, a writer’s or Artist’s Way Group, a women’s or men’s group, an inspirational book study group. A MasterMind group or a prayer partner are other options. The powerful spiritual text, A Course in Miracles, is another choice. Some people use the I Ching. Any daily spiritual practice is a support.

But throughout your day? How do you support yourself in this new place, this new vibration, all day long?

My favorite, most powerful and accessible tool is music. Songs you play in your iPod, your CD player, but mostly, songs you sing in your head, in your car, in your living room, in your shower. There is a growing world of powerful music to support healing and transformation, and these songs are empowering and healing. Songs – which, when you sing them, quite literally cause your entire body to vibrate – are a most potent tool to raise your own vibration.

The Beach Boys knew what they were talking about with Good Vibrations. Next week’s blog will be very specific about where to find powerful songs and why to use them.

November 5, 2013 Song Post a Comment

Saying No to 1000 Things

A couple of weeks ago I came across this quote from Steve Jobs.

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

I’m coming to the conclusion that we seriously underestimate the power of what we say NO to. We focus a lot of attention on trying to get better at one thing or another, meanwhile continuing on with distractions, activities we aren’t passionate about, people we don’t connect very deeply with, meetings we don’t want to be at, and more. Steve Jobs was talking about inventing, creating. But aren’t we all inventing and creating our lives all the time?

“You have to pick carefully,” he said – the creator-visionary behind Apple computers and all that followed. While he may have been divinely inspired, or had a “eureka” moment (or lots of ‘em), that isn’t what he was talking about. He was talking about the sorting process. The choosing process. Weeding the garden.

[custom_frame_left][/custom_frame_left]I believe this has relevance not only in major creative ventures (like Apple computers et al) but also in our daily lives, our weekly lives, the way our lives are coming together at this very moment.

Have you ever known someone who finally dumped a bad relationship and focused on themselves for awhile… and a few weeks later met “the one?” Saying no is powerful stuff.

In the garden, we have to do this all the time. When we don’t, aaagh! It’s no longer a garden but a creeping wilderness. A garden, by definition, is where humans and nature interact. Any gardener knows she/he is not in complete control in the garden – who knows what can happen next? And yet, without human intention, it is not a garden. It’s a wild spot. So we set the intention (a rose garden, a veggie garden, an herb garden) and then we interact with nature in varying degrees of effort, intuition, and things-beyond-our-control.

One of the biggest choices becomes what we say NO to. NO to the happy little weed seedlings mixed in with the spring lettuce. NO to the pigweed sprouting in the baby beets. NO to the clover and crab grass creeping in around the edges. NO to the bindweed and dandelions. Dandelions in the garden

If we fail to say NO, we soon have a deserted-lot-look instead of the garden we imagined. There’s nothing wrong with a deserted lot, but it’s definitely not a garden.

If Steve Jobs had not been diligent about saying NO to what didn’t fit with his vision, what would I be typing on this moment? What would the world be missing?

It’s a bit embarrassing to admit, but right now, I have to say NO most vehemently to wasting time… meandering, distractions, too much Facebook or CNN.

Here’s what really brought it to my attention. For the first time in my life, I’m on a time-clock at a call center (Silent Unity). Not only do I punch in and out, but I also account for all my time during the day. “Available” for a call. “On scheduled break,” and more. It’s not as rigid as it sounds because we are totally in charge of keeping track and no one is breathing down our necks about any of it. But still, when I keep track of what I’m doing for 40 hours a week I come to acknowledge the value of each minute.

So back home… how easy is it to “waste” 30 minutes catching up reading on Facebook or following strange stories on CNN? Sure, I like to do both and I learn and feel connected. But how much is enough? I’ve watched whole evenings fly by with nothing except supper, cleanup, pack bag for tomorrow… and sitting at my computer.

Wait a minute?! What happened to my singing practice time? What about playing my accordion which I’m loving to learn? What about the amazing book I’m reading?

I think I forgot to pick carefully.

So today, I’m writing my blog first (before I start in on the all-consuming bookkeeping and bill-paying). I’ve closed my email program so I’m not distracted by incoming notices. I’m paying attention to the precious value of each moment, whatever I may choose to do.

I have writing projects I want to bring into the world. I want to improve as a singer/songwriter/performer. I want to write songs. I want to be with my family, and totally be present and enjoy them. I want to stay connected to my community and my dear friends. I want to make a difference for good in the world.

What do I need to say NO to? Do I have the vision and clarity and fortitude to do so?

While I do believe in the eternalness of the soul and in more than one lifetime (you don’t have to agree, I won’t argue with you)… it’s pretty obvious that this individual lifetime as ME-LINDA will eventually end.

But at the moment, I’m blessed with health, energy, vitality, inspiration, my loving husband and family. I choose to honor the inspiration I’m being given by saying NO.

NO to all the ideas and activities that are not true to the highest vision…to make room for the greatest, most love-filled dreams to come true.

“Innovation is saying NO to 1000 things.” Today I’m intensely aware of that. And that’s a good thing.

November 5, 2013 Coaching, Healing, Song, Sound Post a Comment

Feeling in the middle…In a good way

The Course in Miracles says that, even though we think we have ten thousand problems to solve, we have only one problem: we believe we are separate – from each other and from God.

[custom_frame_left][/custom_frame_left]When I was a child, my dad (and mom) ran the grain elevator – a country grain elevator where we took in the farmers’ wheat every June and July at harvest time. I loved being part of harvest… the excitement as the hot Kansas wind ripened the green wheat into gold and Dad’s pace of preparation (and stress level) increased. That first day would soon come and he had to be ready for the first truck of wheat. Somehow he always was.

The number of trucks would steadily increase rolling onto the country scales to be weighed, driving into the elevator and dumping the fresh warm grain into the dump, then coming back around for an empty weight and a scale ticket. The bustle of our lives (us kids) included staying out of the way, running errands, eating sandwiches, picking the cherries back up the hill at our house (they always ripened right around harvest time). And using the outhouse. Grain Elevator in Kansas

As I grew older and had friends in the community, sometimes one of the families would invite me back to the fields with them, to ride the truck, wait for the combine to bring the wheat to fill the truck, one pass at a time, and eventually ride the truck back to the elevator. Those trips to the fields were novel and I enjoyed them. But I always had the feeling I was missing something back at the elevator.

The scale office and the elevator had a Grand-Central-Station feeling – “here’s where it’s happening!” – that I loved. I felt in the middle of things, connected, alive.

Yesterday, my day off from my prayer ministry job, it flashed across my mind that “oh, I won’t be connected today!” to all the callers.

WOW! Did I really have that thought on my day off?

Yep. And the best parallel I can make is to being in the center at the elevator at harvest time.

This week we prayed with callers in the advancing path of Hurricane Sandy, call after call. Then as the storm hit, it became quiet. The next 2-3 days we prayed with people from the West Coast and around the country asking for prayers for people who had been hit by the storm.

I felt the love of humans for each other, the awakening compassion. Sure, I know CNN featured a story about a man who refused help to a woman with two sons in the midst of the storm and I can feel that pain. But I also know of the many people who were helping each other, praying for each other. On Silent Unity’s Facebook page, following a beautiful prayer for people, animals and everything in the path of the storm (Nov. 2), there are posts from across the country and around the world, saying AMEN.

I could feel the interconnection.

Honeybee on blossomsI feel that way in my garden often, and the time I feel it most often is in mid-summer when the honeybees and other tiny beneficial insects are filling my herb garden humming and zipping all around me as I sit and watch them. Amazing – there is no other word for it! Again, it’s a Grand-Central-Station feeling and I love it. Oblivious to my presence, the honeybees, the tiny brachnid wasps, and others go about their busy lives, connecting plant to plant (pollinating), plant to insect (pollen for food) and plant to human (enhancing the plants). Interconnection.

I am blessed with being a witness to the process.

Just as in the prayer room. I am a conduit, with affirmative prayers that help each caller remember the truth of their connection to God and to each other.

If we really have only one problem – that we believe we are separate – then there must be only one answer. To remember that we are connected… interconnected.

It’s been a great week for that. I am remembering – even on my day off – that I am connected to all of Life. And I love that.