Lyrics

She Didn't Have To

I know a man whose mother was the sweetest soul on earth,
A beauty, and a saint - with a grace she'd had since birth.
And when her husband raged at her she'd always shrug it off....
“It's nothing,” she would say... and never made it stop
Until the day when he would learn their wealth was nearly gone...
She couldn't face him, could not erase it
And so she changed the plan.

CHORUS:
She could have told him “NO - No way!”
She could have said “Back off!'
She could have gone to a shelter.... or told him to grow up.
She could have closed and locked the door... and thrown away his key.
She didn't have to kill him... she could have done it.. and stayed free.

I know a man whose wife.. once knew how to be strong
At four, she broke a window... when she'd been closed in too long.
She had the kind of spirit that it takes to face the world
She loved and danced and spoke out
and knew how to be wild...
Until one day she let the fear press her spirit down.
She hid her Self and smiled her smile.. and never wore her gown....

CHORUS:
She could have told them.. “NO - No way!:”
She could have said “Back off!'
She could have gone to a shelter.. or told them to grow up.
She could have closed and locked the door... and thrown away their key.
She didn't have to kill them... she could have done it... and stayed free.

That child is still inside her: that spirit still can fly
That woman still can know her power - and not give up and die.
If every day she touches the strength that lies within
The peace and joy will fill her and she'll just have to grin....

CHORUS:
She still can tell them “ NO - No way!”
She still can say “Back off!'
She still can go to a shelter.... or tell them to grow up.
She still can close and lock the door... and throw away their key...
She doesn't have to kill them... she still can do it - and stay free.

The local country station was playing not-so-softly as I waited in the check-out line at the grocery store. Next line over a tuned-out mom also waited, with three little girls in tow, about ages 3 and 4 - perhaps babysitting one or two of them? The song lyrics, to anyone listening, sounded abundantly clear: “Earl has to die....” In the moment following, the first child said, to no one in particular, “Why does Earl have to die?” Her companion answered with a question of her own, “Is Earl a girl?” No one answered them. What would I have said?... and what are we teaching our children? Their voices echoed in my mind for days, and I wrote this song soon after. The first verse tells of a real couple. The second verse describes my own childhood (though it didn't end so dramatically....)